Hunger Games Mary Sue OC- Jessica Hawk

I understand that everyone has made Mary Sue's/Gary Stus before and that does not mean they are bad writers, even I have written a few Mary Sues, but this is by far the worst Hunger Games sue I have ever read.  So let the sueness commence!

Name: Jessica Hawk 
Nickname: Jess, Jay (given to me by Gale) Jessie and Hawk (given to me by Katniss) 

No, no, no, no, no NOOOOOO! She cannot be friends with Gale and Katniss, they cannot be so close that they give each other nicknames! NOOOOO!!!!!

Age: 15

District: 12

Gender: Female 

Personality: I am understanding when people want me to be...

I hate this personality so much, its so overused and cliched. And what the heck does "I am understanding when people want me to be" mean? What do they do, tell you when they want you to be understanding? I am assuming you mean "I am understanding when I want to be" but it still does not change the fact that this personality is overused and cliched. 

I am brave and can go up against anything you put me against...

Once again, really cliched and overused personality trait. Not to mention it makes the oc sound like some super-awesome-and- really-strong Jesus entity that has absolutely no flaws and therefore this increases your oc's overall Sueness level. 

I am not quick to trust people (I only trust people when I have known them for a while) 

I had my suspicions but this just confirms it, this person is literally just recreating (and at the same time totally butchering) Katniss. She is literally trying, and failing to make a cooler and edgier Katniss with her I-have-no-flaws oc!

I am funny when I want to be but am mostly mature about things that are important. 

ARE WE NOT AL MATURE ABOUT IMPORTANT THINGS! EVEN IF WE ARE FUNNY SOMETIMES, I AM PRETTY SURE MOST HUMAN BEINGS ON THIS PLANET ARE MATURE WHEN IT COMES TO IMPORTANT THINGS THAT HAPPEN IN THEIR LIFETIME!

I am loyal to my friends, I am very protective and because of what happened to my family I don't like opening up about things. 

Mary Sue with tragic backstory is tragic and we should all pity her cliche. 

Looks: I have long brown hair that falls to the small of my back, my hair is usually down or in a pony tail, or braided over my left shoulder. I have almond shaped eyes that are bright emerald green. 

So I am assuming this oc is from the Seam because of her dark hair and the fact that Gale and Katniss would never be friends with anyone living outside the Seam, or at least Gale wouldn't, so why does she have green eyes. No one in the Seam has green eyes, they all have GREY EYES. I guess your oc is just to much of a speshul snowflake to look like everyone else. 

I have fair skin even though I spend all my time in the woods...

That makes no sense, if she spends all of her time outside she is going to tan. End of story. 

I have an athletic build and am strong even though I don't look it. I have legs meant for swimming and running... 

Of course, the good old, overly used, cliche that everyone has used on one of their oc's at least once in their lives. The "I am strong but don't look strong" cliche. Why can't people just make their oc's look like real people. Real people who are strong usually look strong. I am not saying I have not had an oc that was strong but did not look strong before, because I have had one of those oc's. Several, actually, but I scrapped them after a while because I realized that no on actually looks like that. Plus whats so unattractive about strong, muscly women? This makes me so angry. Not to mention you just said your oc had an athletic build, usually people with athletic builds look pretty strong. 

And an hourglass shaped body. 

Okay, this is a person with an hourglass shaped body...

This is a person with an athletic build...

While both figures are beautiful in there own ways, they are very different. Also an hourglass shaped figure is not usually associated with athleticism. The point is, your oc CANNOT HAVE TWO VERY DIFFERENT BODY TYPES NO MATTER HOW SPESHUL THEY ARE! IT'S JUST NOT GOING TO HAPPEN, GOT IT!

Family/friends: I have no biological family, my family died when I was ten... 

My family is now the Everdeen family. 

THATS IT. You cannot just make your super speshul oc go and live with the Everdeens. THAT TOTALLY SCREWS WITH CANON. AND WHY THE HECK DID SHE GO TO THE 

EVERDEENS IN THE FIRST PLACE, WERE THEY A FAMILY FRIEND OR SOMETHING! YOU CANT JUST FORCE YOUR OC INTO A FAMILY AS IMPORTANT AS THE EVERDEENS! A BIG AND IMPORTANT PART OF THE STORY IS THAT IT IS JUST PRIM, KATNISS, AND HER MOTHER SO THAT WHEN KATNISS LEAVES SHE HAS TO WORRY ABOUT PRIM NOT HAVING ANYONE TO TAKE CARE OF HER!!!!!!!!!!

My best friends are Gale and Katniss, and I am good friends with Peeta. 

No. 

Love Interest: Gale Hawthorn 

No... just no. 

Background: I was born into a miner’s family, and I grew up a regular girl. I was the only child of my family. I meet Katniss one day in the forest with her father and they promised to teach me the ways of hunting.

My father died in the mine explosion and my mother didn’t last much longer without him.

Overly used "she/he loved him/her so much that they died when he/she died" cliche. Also, why is it always the female characters that die after their husbands die? Ir makes women seem like they have no life outside of their husband/boyfriend/lover.

The Everdeen family took me in and raised me as their own...

Why would they take her in, they barely have enough money to feed their own family and themselves so why would they take in some random kid they have absolutely no connection to other than that one time they saw her on the side of the street and felt bad for her. 

Katniss and I go hunting everyday with Gale in the woods. I am now as skilled as Katniss at hunting and walking through the woods without a sound. When Katniss volunteered herself for the Hunger Games i promised I would take care of her family. 

That totally gets rid of all of the tension we felt in the first book when Katniss volunteered and was worrying about who would take care of Prim if she died. Sure we knew she was going to live because she is the narrator and there had to be more books, but still. 

Skills: I am a skilled hunter, I can trap as well as Gale...

No one traps as well as Gale. Period. One of the main points in the book is that Gale is the best trapper in the seam. NO ONE IS BETTER THAN HIM!

I can walk through the forest without a sound and I can throw a knife pretty well, I am also skilled in hand to hand combat, thanks to my father. 

What does this oc's dad know about hand to hand combat? Why did she not volunteer for tribute instead of Katniss when Prim was reaped, seeing as she is so speshul and talented she could probably destroy everyone with her pinky finger on the first day of the games and save Katniss a lot of trouble. 

Also...

Weaknesses: I am very protective of my family and friends so someone could use them against me if they wanted to. 

That is the dumbest weakness ever. It really isn't even a weakness.

I can sometimes be quick to jump to conclusions and make mistakes...

You said it Hannah Montana.

And I have a quick temper...

ALL MARY SUE'S HAVE BAD TEMPERS, WHY!!!

Weapons: I use the bow and I can use the knife to incapacitate my enemies. I am also skilled at hand to hand combat. 

Fighting Style: I am quite fierce and never back down from a fight, I fight defensively and sometimes I am offensive. 

I don't know what to say. It was just so bad. Well good thing it's over. HAPPY DANCE!

Harry Potter Mary Sue OC: Jessica Potter

Harry Potter OC-Jessica Potter

Let the Sueness commence!

Name: Jessica Potter

This is not going to be a good review. 

Nickname: Jessie, Jay (given to me by Fred and George)Jess, and Fox (given to me by Harry)

Why the freak does Harry call her fox. She better not be an animagus or I will....

Blood Status: Half blood

House: Gryffindor 

Age: 15

Year: Same as when the Golden Trio was in fifth year

Wand Type: 11 inches, oak and phoenix tail feather core

Pet: A great horned owl named Pippen

Patronous: A wolf

Birthday:October 31st 1980

Quidditch Position: Chaser

Because screw all the cannon chasers!

Personality: I never back down from a fight, people know that if they get in my face I am not afraid to get into theirs. I am kind of a prankster but I know when to be mature, I am a good listener and I don't openly trust people, I am protective of my family and am loyal to my friends/family to death. 

So basically she is a female version of Harry. We get that she's his sister, but come on can you come up with a more original personality?!

Looks: I have long wavy black hair that falls to the small of my back, it is normally down or in a braid. I have almond shaped emerald greed eyes with thick eyelashes. I have fairer skin with full red lips. I have an athletic build and I am strong even though I am told I am petite. I have long legs that are meant for running. I can turn into a wolf because I am an animagus. 

I don't know how many times I have to say this but here I go, again IT TAKES A LOT OF SKILL AND TALENT TO BECOME AN ANIMAGUS, YOU CANT JUST GO " I WANNA BECOME AND ANIMAGUS, GUESS I BETTER GO TO THE LIBRARY" JESUS CHRIST!

Now that thats done, why does she have long legs meant for running but is for some reason petite? 

Family: I am the twin sister of Harry Potter and our parents died when we were young. I went to the Weasley family and lived with them. I am friends with the Golden Trio and many others in Hogwarts. I don't care what their blood status is or what house they are in. 

Why did Dumbledore not send her to live with the Dursley's after James and Lily died, with Harry? Oh wait, why did I even ask. She is just to speshul for the treatment the Dursley's would have given her so she went to live with the Weasley's instead. Because that makes sense.  Gosh, I already hate this oc...

Background: I am the twin sister of Harry Potter and our parents died when we were one. I was put with the Weasley's because Dumbledore wanted us separate. 

SCREW CANNON, SCREW LILY'S BLOOD PROTECTION, SCREW EVERYTHING! But wouldn't she have to live with Petunia and Vernon like Harry for Lily's blood protection to stay strong?

I grew up at the burrow knowing I was different. But I knew I was a witch, Mr and Mrs. Weasley told my I was sister to Harry when I was seven. They didn't want me to tell the others, they wanted me to wait until I met Harry for the first time. So the Weasley children just thought I was adopted for some unknown reason. When I finally go to Hogwarts I met Harry for the first time. I joined the quidditch team with him because I am a great flyer and they needed a new chaser. In our third year I told him we were related and he told me he had a feeling we were more than just friends we were family. 

That year I figured out that I was an animagus but I didn't want to tell anybody. I helped Harry through the twi-wizard tournament our fourth year. And I asked Fred to the Yule Ball. That is my life up until fifth year. 

Wow I wonder who she's in love with?

Love Interest: Fred Weasley 

Weaknesses: I am very protective of my family and if anything were to happen to them I would die. I can be quick to judge no matter how hard I try not to and I have a quick temper. And sometimes I can let my feelings get in the way but that is rarely. 

She is literally a female Harry, this oc has no originality whats so ever! This could have been okay if she hadn't piled on a bunch of crap to make her oc super speshul.

Mary Sue Review: Mary Anne Maleficent

So I said I was going to start doing Mary Sue reviews and here is the first one. I found this online somewhere and I just had to review it. This Mary Sue is a Maleficent/ Harry Potter Sue. I am pretty sure this Sue is supposed to be based off of the movie Maleficent that came out in 2014. I already have not-so-good feelings about that movie anyway, so paring it with Harry Potter probably won't make me very happy with this sue. I just feel like the movie Maleficent ruined everything I loved about Maleficent. She was literally my favorite villain, she was pure evil and I thought she was really cool. And then someone had to go and say, "Well I wonder what would happen if Maleficent wasn't really evil. Hey I've got an idea, lets make a movie about how Maleficent, the purely evil villain everyone loves, is really a secret softie and the real villain in Sleeping Beauty is Aurora's dad!" Don't get me wrong the movie had an okay plot line, but I feel like in the end, Disney just ended up butchering a classic tale and a really awesome villain that I, and a lot of other people really liked. But thats a review for another post. Now to the Mary Sue review!


                                            HARRY POTTER MARY SUE REVIEW 

 

Name: Mary Ann Maleficent

    

Gender: Female  

                        

Seems pretty normal so far right? Ha ha, you wish! 

     

Date Of Birth: Unknown 

Hair: Dark 

Eyes: Yellow 

Yes, because your oc is super speshul so she has super speshul yellow eyes to signify how speshul she really is. 

Species: Fairy with a cursed or Witch 

Blood Status: Pureblood

Registered: Animagus (huge dark dragon) 

Okay, there are so many things wrong with this oc I could almost just sit back and let the review write itself. Where to begin... It takes forever to become an animagus and you HAVE TO BE A REALLY SKILLED WITCH OR WIZARD TO DO SO, YOUR OC IS STILL IN SCHOOL, I ASSUME SO THAT MEANS IT IS VERY UNLIKELY FOR HER TO BE ABLE TO BECOME AN ANIMAGUS. The marauders did it, yeah but they were pretty much all the equivalent of geniuses. They may have goofed off a lot but they were really talented wizards and because of this they were all able to successfully become animagi. YOUR OC CANNOT BE AS TALENTED AS THE MARAUDERS WERE. Also, why did the ministry even let her become an animagus if the animal she turns into is a dragon. A HUGE DARK DRAGON! They wouldn't let her become an animagus if her animagus is a dragon because that would expose all of wizard kind. She is a huge dragon apparently so I am sure loads of muggles would be able to see her when she transforms. She can't just go gallivanting around as a dragon because that would mean thousands of muggles would spot her and that would be a lot of work for the ministry. They would have to preform a mass obliviation or something like that, and that probably would not work anyhow. Not to mention magical creature animagi are really rare. But I guess you just want your oc to be even more speshul.... oh wait!

I get it, its because your oc is Maleficent or something like that so you made her animagus a dragon. 

Yeaaaaah no.  MOVING ON!

House: No house (special case)

You can't not be in a Hogwarts house. YOU HAVE TO BE IN A HOGWARTS HOUSE PEOPLE. Okay so I don't think you understand, it's not edgy and rebellious if your oc is in all of the houses/ two of the houses at once or if she/he is not in any house. It's not like your oc is defying cliques or anything. If your oc is in more than one house she/he is disrupting everything. The houses are there to restore order. Sure they are the cause of stereotypes and house rivalry but they have to be there! Without them Hogwarts would fall into utter chaos! They are not there to clump you into a clique, tell you who to be or that you are this way and only this way all the time, THEY ARE THERE TO MAKE SURE THAT HOGWARTS DOES NOT BECOME A CHAOTIC MESS. Without them everything would be disorganized and crazy and no one would no where anyone was or what classes to go to! It would be a lot more complicated for the students and teachers alike! Sorry, I just had to get that out. The point is your Mary Sue, er... I mean oc cannot not belong to a house. 

Wand: 12/4 inches Elder wood- Thestral tail hair and Dragon Heartstring 

Okay I don't know where your oc got her wand but it was not from Ollivanders where everyone else who goes to Hogwarts gets their wands because Mr. Ollivander only sells wands with Dragon Heartstring, Unicorn Tail Hair, and Phoenix Feather cores, nothing else. So that means that unless your oc shops somewhere else for their wand then your oc can't have a Thestral tail hair core. And they definitely can't have a Thestral tail hair core and a Dragon Heartstring core. You get one wand core people, one core. 

Patronous: The group of ravens 

Boggart: The death of Severus Snape 

Pet: Raven (no name) 

Nope, you get an owl, a cat, a rat, or a toad to bring as your pet to Hogwarts. Nothing else. 

Clubs: -

Extra: Mary is my nickname, nothing else. I am a Parselmouth and maybe the descendant of Maleficent. 

Dude, you can't be a Parselmouth unless a) you are a descendant of Salazar Slytherin, or b) you are like Harry and have a piece of Voldemort's soul inside of you. 

Whatever, I am  501 percent done with this oc. There is nothing you can do to save her, she is to far gone into Sueness. If it were me I would just scrap her and start all over again because she is helpless. 

Ravenclaw's to Gryffindors

Ravenclaw's when speaking to Gryffindors.

I found this online and I think this is very true, no offense to any Gryffindor viewers. I have a Gryffindor friend who is always jumping into a situation without thinking of the consequences at hand and I have to remind her to calm down and think things through, not that Gryffindors are stupid or anything.

Pottermore

So I just signed up for Pottermore today. I don't know why I didn't sign up before with my profound love for all things Harry Potter and all, but I decided that I REALLY want to know what house I am in and I have heard that if you want to know what house you are in for sure Pottermore is the way to go. After all it was created by THE QUEEN HERSELF,  I mean err... JK Rowling.

Anyway, I was super exited to sign up. I bought my spell books and an owl with my (fake) money from Gringotts in the little interactive bit near the beginning of the Pottermore experience. I got my wand, something I was really exited to get, my wand is 14 1/2 inches Sycamore and Unicorn Core surprisingly swishy. And yes,  before anyone asks, I am aware this is all fake but man do I wish it wasn't.

After buying all of my supplies from Diagon Alley I was ready to take the sorting hate quiz, *long, drawn out squealing*

I was so exited and after I took the quiz my true identity was revealed, I got.....

Ravenclaw, I was VERY FREAKING HAPPY THAT I GOT INTO RAVENCLAW, *EXITED SQUEALING*

Okay, I'm done. The point is I was fairly sure I would be in Ravenclaw based off of the loads of other quizzes I have taken online, so I was pretty exited when I got into the house officially on Pottermore. And after looking at my house more closely online the more and more I am sure that Ravenclaw is the house I would be in if I was an actual witch that went to Hogwarts. I value intelligence, creativity, and wit and am pretty open minded. Of course you can never really know what house you are REALLY in unless you have gone to Hogwarts. Sadly I have never been. I should have gone when I was elven though, but don't worry my letter is just several years late, it will come sooner or later. Hopefully. My owl is probably just lost or stuck in a tree somewhere. Maybe there was a traffic jam? Just kidding. But you know, no harm can come from wishing, right?

*Uncontrollable sobbing in the background* No, no I'm okay, *wipes tears off face*

 Okay, I'll leave now...

So what house are you in? Were you satisfied with your house when you were sorted?

Hi...

Hello Rainy here. Welcome to my blog, *cue cricket noises*

To sum it up this bog is, or will be full of me obsessing over fictional characters, ranting and posting random gifs.
I love Harry Potter, Divergent, Hunger Games and TFIOS and those are currently all of the fandoms I am in. I am reading/will get around to reading if I just get of the internet Narnia and LOTR and I assume when I am done reading those two things I will happily join their randoms.

YAY

Keep in mind I despise Twilight and Taylor Swift so if you like one or both of those things, LEAVE NOW. You have been warned.

Also....

I rant, a lot. So be prepared for copious amounts of ranting. 

And thats about it. I will post whenever I want, so DEAL WITH IT. Ha ha, just kidding. But in all honesty my posts are sort of erratic and spontaneous.
I should just go now...
BYE